Monday, 24 August 2009

Difficult times

Here I am sitting here in the office wondering to myself - what am I doing? Many questions running through my head trying to decide what to do with my life. I can not sit here and wondering away. I have to make decision somehow.

In the last few months, I felt that nothing was gonna happen but the hole underneath me were getting bigger. Day by day, I struggled to climb up. I have many doors and I had no idea which to take. Ever felt like you will have to hold back and wait and see which door will shine the light, ready for you to take the step forward? I am still waiting for that.

It doesn't matter if it related to hearing new sound, or trying to find a job, new life, it could be anything.

My hearing have been better and there were times I wasn't too sure coz I was hearing too much of the high pitches again so went to the C.I centre to solve this problem. We got it fixed and few weeks later, my low pitches fade away (again) making the high pitches louder again. The sound of someone having their glasses in their hand and flick it while talking. That noise is very annoying! But it was not suppose to be loud. Even the sound of the running water is loud again.

I am due to my 9th months in a week and I hope we will figure out why this happen too often.

I was able to use the mobile phone for an hour but still feel like I need more practice with other people. I will test this with few people that I have in mind. I bet they will get the shock.

Going back to what I was saying about waiting for the door to shine it light for me to decide which to use. I have to say that most of the time in the past, I was told to go for it whatever the reason is. In this case..... I can't do that. I am moving out again and probably will move around wherever I will go. Its not the question of when I would settle down, its more to do.... will I be happy to have this kind of life?

There are many choices. Jobs, projects, social life, taking up sport again, a chance to go abroad again and see if my photography will wow these people. I should hope so.

I am sorry that I have not been keeping the blog up to date. It have been very hard lately. I will be moving to another friend who have cochlear implant and I am sure looking forward what will bring. I will soon have more time to write on the blog. I will be doing more work in Ear Foundation and Advanced Bionic before I take up New Zealand. yes New Zealand. Exciting I know.

Let hope things will get better.