Time is going so fast

The time is going so fast that I can not believe it. Its almost time for the operation!   Yea, its in three weeks time. 27th November 2008. I don't think I will ever forget the date for the rest of my life because its so close to my birthday. yea 2 days before my birthday.  geez  Happy birthday Manda!  Enjoy your hangover lol  Geez thanks doc!  Not that I'm gonna complain but at least I would be able to have my switch on before new year eve (I hope)  I wanna start my new year with a bang.  Learning to hear and building up my business at the same time ... who is going to stop me?  Noone!  This is me feeling a little confidence now as I have been away to Perth, Aus.  Believe me, I needed that kind of break away from everyone.  Not quite everyone but maybe my family who wasn't really supportive to me and break me down to tears that I needed to talk to someone advising me what to do even though noone know the real answer.  

Me mam is just stubborn who won't open her eyes to see the way I am seeing. I didn't want cochlear implant a year ago  but I startled to meet people who have one and quite often noone believe them that they have the implant coz their speech were so good. This what make me curious.  Keen to have good speech and with patience people would respect you like any other person.  I have suffered from bully but after a while I have told these people that I needed support to get through school to help me what I was missing out.  Sooner or later, the bully stopped.  They just need some little education to understand why someone like me with hearing loss may not pronounce properly or even get extra support.  Funny enough, I remember these people became my friends!    Show you how much I stand up for myself!

Me mam did well to bought me up learning to speak properly, have manner, polite and give respect for others and most important is to stand up for myself. I have many respect for her but there are time when she doesn't listen what I have to said and why I am doing this.  She believes that I am too good for cochlear implant and hate the fact that I would be drill into my head to sort some parts inside to enable to hear better than before. I understand she is just scared and I hope she will come round once she understands its for the best. 

 I would have wait for stem cells to become available.  The time is just not ready yet. They are still working on animals but not yet test on humans then they have to go through the head offices to get approved. I know because I have a friend who studying/working in the science part.  

Anyway,  I feel disappointed that me mam is not going to support me through this process.  Thinking about this just making me angry, sad and alone. I may not be alone but alone away from family and I'm going through a very big step of my life.  A life changing for the better. 

I dunno how my brother feels about it but he got a lot on his plate so I won't want to bother him. Ian, my father, is over in down under so he would reading this (hello and  Thanks for the holiday) Mam is in Scotland who is trying to sell her house to move down to England so she could have a life with her friends she knows for 20 years or so.  I do wish her to be happy. She should be proud what she has done for me and my brother. 

So the operation is coming so soon....... I am nervous about the operation because I am not so good with hospital at all. seeing blood or needles.. thats me running away. sissy I know for someone who like to watch horror movies! I am excited about the switch on. Its the new start of my life and thats what I am looking forward to.

Even if I go to the operation on my own, I guess I will come out stronger..  In my family  we always say this" Glasspell are never weak"