A Day before the ops

This is it, guys. 

Its a day before the operation and I'm freaky scared.  People have been so unbelievable supportive.  I never seen anything like this before.  I have thought I would be going through this on my own and I've end up having all my friends, new, old, family and close friends, all gathering up just to be with me. Its amazing. 

Mam finally made peace with me about a week ago. I am so glad about that. I didn't want to regret anything that was being said or done before the ops.  Just let it go and move on.  Tomoz is the day that my life will change.  I will be letting her know whats happening throughout my stay at the hospital. 

This month have been amazing. I have been to Perth in Aus to see my father, Ian as I called him, spent some time relaxing, laughing around. Didn't have a care in the world. Came back feeling like a new woman ready to battle with everyday life and  went to visited my old friends in Blackpool to catch up with them. When I have told them the news about having the implant, they were so excited that they want to see the result.  

I even got to see my lovely nephew, Jim Jam, my brother and his girlfriend, Shelly. (Thanks you for your support.) Jim jam has deffo took everything off my mind. He is quite a character and I am looking forward to hear him to say some  new words.

Meanwhile, I have made new friends, Katie and her boyfriend, Richard and Abi through the Ciug Group for people who have or thinking about getting Cochlear implant. These lovely people came over to my place over the weekend to celebrate my birthday even though my birthday is on the 29th November. Due to the fact that the operation is 2 days before my birthday, I might as well have it a week before.    The time went by so fast and I have enjoyed every minutes being with them. How they make me laugh, cried and most important is ..... .....its being supportive.   Thank you for being there.

Right now, sitting here at my desk,  I am getting some kind of flashback. A flashback from when i was a little girl.  Just starting primary school in a public main school with a small unit for the deaf.  I remember having to wear a massive box that sit by my chest with wires to go into my ears. It was not an ordinary hearing aids that we know of today but the box I had to wear... I made every efforts to hide them, covering it with thick jumper and make me look like i had a pillow underneath it. The funny bit was the fact it was during the spring/summer time.  I guess I was so ashamed of it. I was just a little girl. Just wanted to be an ordinary looking girl. The years goes by and thankfully the box have disappeared. I was able to wear the hearing aids behind the ears hiding them with my long hair.    I still do this and will probably carry on for the rest of my life.  People tell me to have my hair up and show them.  I couldn't do it.  I just happen to think that the ears shape are not very attractive to look at.  

I remember when I used my deafness to get what I wanted.  For example, I went to see Scissor Sisters concert and I had a ticket  with seat that goes way back, way from the stage. Unable to make out what was happening or what the singer was singing. I was thinking how much the ticket actually cost me just to enjoy something that i can't make out what was happening.  I decided to do something about it. I saw the staff and explained that I am "deaf"  (I quoted deaf coz its the only way people understand, but I define myself "hard of hearing") . I said to him "I am deaf and I can't hear what is going on. I need to lipsread them to follow".  so what did the staff do?   He let me go right at the front row just by the vip area. :)   I was able to follow everything that was being said. It was awesome.    

Looking back, I think I have done well with what I have used with my hearing aids.  Make the best  out  of it and trained the brain to listen whatever possible.  

The most important lesson is..............  Never give up.